Misery Can be 4 Letters
by PerfectlyPsychotic
Summary: Alcohol fills runs through his body, and malicious thoughts cloud his mind. How can 2D love him after all the abuse and pain. Rated for minor swearing and undetailed Rape.
1. Misery Can Be Four Letters: Rape

Smoke from 2D's cigarette mixed with Murdoc's alcoholic breath, Murdoc was right in his face eyes lowered at him. The bluenette was trying to crumple away in fear, waiting for a hit or something. It was another abuse break when Murdoc got too drunk, and 2D was the only Target. He'd be smoking when Murdoc began to lash out of the blue, the remainder of the cigarette slipped to the ground, and Murdoc stamped it out, the ashes and paper squashing under his boot.

This had become a weekly routine, being beaten to the point that 2D never wanted to be around Murdoc, and the second he saw the alcohol bottle in his band mates hand, D would dive for cover. Everything seemed to be planned, they seemed to be getting along for once, and it would all go south. That is why 2D stuck around, cause when Murdoc was drunk he was at first nice.

The more he drunk the nicer he became, than instantly lashed with no warning. He'd beat 2D to a pulp and go to his room on plastic beach, for some lack of entertainment from seeing the blue haired singer turn red with blood. The next day he'd sober up and by the time his hangover was at it's worst, he'd actually apologize to 2D, and even more surprisingly help treat the wounds the singer had missed.

He seemed to be more ruthless today, which was expected considering he was being extra nice. Another punch in the jaw to the lanky younger man, and he cried out in desperation and pain. Before he had a chance to stand from the floor he'd been knocked to, a couple kicks found their way to his stomach, they were quick and strong, and stung like a bitch. "Murdoc, please." He pleaded through the spits of blood from his bleeding mouth.

The cries were to no avail, the abusive strikes kept coming. It seemed they had a point to keep him on the ground. 'D couldn't move, he sputtered out more blood, and the wounds from his last beating rang out in pain, his new wounds were thumping like they were going to explode, and everywhere else on his body was just numb.

"Shuddup face ache." Murdoc slurred out, stumbling over to the whimpering heap on the floor that was his singer. His singer, his property, his punching bag, he could do whatever he wanted to the mindless man. Murdoc grinned with delight at this thought, it's been an awfully long time since he'd had a broad in bed. His hand trailed to his zipper, and his other hand steadied a half conscious 2D.

It wasn't until Murdoc was lightly pressing against him that the younger man realized what was going on. It took every bit of strength to start fight against it, and he still wasn't strong enough. The Satanist held him down, and had his way. 2D felt his insides shattering, this wasn't supposed to happen, Murdoc had gone to far, and he'd never forget this horror, he found it hard to think straight, as Murdoc thrust into him with a great might, ignoring 2D's screams.

-The next day, the morning turned to evening than to night. The bluenette hadn't left his underwater room once, his curtains were drawn as to not see the whale. He sat on his bed his legs hugged to his chest, facing away from his door. His insides burned with pain, and his heart had been turned to stone. He knew Murdoc was dangerous, especially when he was drunk, but this? It was too much, the tears flowed from his black orbs.

His breathing got heavy, and he didn't hear the door slowly creak open. Murdoc looked at him, and instantly knew that every apology he could utter wouldn't be enough. That didn't mean he could leave without giving one. He took a few steps into the underwater r room, his boots clicking on the floor alerting 2D of his presence. He didn't even turn around to confirm, he just hugged himself tighter, slamming his eyes shut as a few more tears escaped.

"Stu." Murdoc began, trying to lighten things by using his actual name, 2D wouldn't have it, he pulled the blanket over shoulders and the back of his head so Murdoc couldn't see him. He took a few more steps, and stopped himself, trying not to upset the balance: after all he wasn't being yelled at to get out. "I ain' eve' gunna be able 'o apologize enough, will I?" Silence was the response.

"I was drunk ou' of me bloody 'ead, alrigh'?" he began, trying to give himself a defense to his actions.

"Sod off Murdoc!" 2D bellowed out before his band mate could go any further. Tears ran from his eyes as if they were people trying to escape a bomb. "Yew kidnapped me, stick me in a room with a whale, and abuse me on a wregular drunk basis, but 'e day yew use me for yewr jollies…" he trailed off to regain a bit of his roar voice, mowed down by the endless sobs. "Yew jus' cross a line." he turned his back to the bassist, feeling sick just looking at him.

"D, I'm sorry, I was drunk and I had no clue wha' I was even doin'. I never mean' 'o- I neva wan'ed-" He stopped himself from going any further, it wasn't helping the situation, and it kind of pissed himself off. Why would he even get an idea to do that to the singer. Who cares if he was drunk, he never wanted to hurt his that bad, physically but never that physically. D was his only mate, his friend, almost like family, if not for the fact that Murdoc cared for him a little more.

He loved 2D more than anything in the world, and now it was all over. This time he when he stepped forward, he planted himself softly on the bed. "Hell Stu, I don' know why I ge' drunk, but when I do I le' ma mind go, I lash ou' cause I realize I'm bein' to nice." He paused for a moment, thinking of how to word himself as to not piss off the bluenette further. "Bu' I had no reason 'o do wha' I did 'o you."

There was silence, a rather painful and heart wrenching silence, who would of thought 2D would be the one to break it. "I trusted yew, after all yew've done I s'ill trusted yew." - "I've neva fel' worse, ma'e." Murdoc responded quickly, but it seemed as though 2D ignored him. "I didn' mind 'e attacks cause yew neve' mean' em, but this isn' somefing you can just take back." things fell silent again, but only for a minute. "It hur's even worse cause it wasn' 'e way I planned eet."

Murdoc gained a bit more ground on the bed, confusion ringing through him like a middle school dismissal bell. "planned wha'?" his eyes tilted a little, as if he new what the vocalist was going to say, but didn't believe it for lack of confidence, or insight. "I loved yew Murdoc, fo' a wreal long time. I pre'ended to ha'e yew, so yew wouldn' know." 2D's heart shattered inside his chest as he revealed his deepest secret.

Murdoc couldn't believe his ears, his heart beat faster than light, than all together stopped. He raped 2D while he was drunk, held him down, and forced him to do whatever he wanted. He blew his only chance of happiness for a couple throw backs of alcohol. He wanted to lash out at something, but not at 2D, the closet thing was a small waste basket that had been perched on the dressed beside his bed.

Murdoc jumped from the bed and in a single move hit the trash bin so hard it flew across the room. The vocalist jumped slightly and turned back, trying to determine the reason for his band mates sudden anger. The Satanist looked like he wanted to cry, he rubbed his chin, the stubble grazing his hand as he pondered what he could do to fix things. He paced back and forth, continuing to rub his chin.

He stopped dead in his tracks, and with soft eyes turned to 2D. "'e las' thing I wanna do righ' now is piss you off, so I can' say it back, and there 'eally is only one way to fix this." He let another pause take over his speech, trying to determine if he was really strong enough to do this. "D I think I's bout time you go home. Leave and go back 'o the fair grounds or whaeva you was doin." his voice shook with fear, and it caught him off guard.

"Muds? Yew wan' me ta leave?" The younger man actually had some sadness in his voice, even with the black eyes Murdoc could see them pleading with him, which only caused more confusion. He sat on the bed and hesitantly placed a hand comfortingly on the other mans shoulder. "I neva wan' ya 'o leave, bu' I can' 'ake seeing you so sodding miserable every bloody day."

Another pleading look and 'D pulled a surprising move, he leaded over and laid into Murdoc's bare chest. "I'm no' gonna leave yew now. Bu' if yew wanna make fings be'er, it's gonna take a lot of work." he spoke softly as if speaking any louder would shatter the world they were trying to fix. They laid still for a moment, 2D was still wrapped in the blanket, and leaning on Murdoc, the Satanists arm still around Stu, both had swelling hearts, and teary eyes. Moments maybe minutes past of a tense sexual silence, finally Murdoc turned his head lightly, placing the most gentle kiss on 'D's cheek, nothing more. If he wanted this to work, it would take a lot of restraint and patients, and change, plenty of change.


	2. Misery Can be Four Letters: Love

The bathroom was meant to be pure white tiles, but with all of 2D beatings you couldn't go an eyesight without seeing a light reddish/pink stain atop the tile. Murdoc had the blue haired man sitting on top of the counter, his shirt was off so Murdoc could see the damage he'd done this time. It was his worse yet, and not just because of the violation he'd forced upon 'D.

His body was covered in cuts and bruises from head to toe, his skin was stained more than the bathroom tile. His eyes were black inside and out, his skin was covered in anything from cuts to grazes, and everything in between. Murdoc had really done a number on him. One by one he treated to each laceration, washing off any blood and wrapping it tightly in a gauze or band aid.

He was gentle, and didn't say anything accept muttering apologize whenever 'D winced in pain. He wrapped a thick sling around the singers wrist, it was possibly sprained. After it was done, he caught the eye of the other man carefully. They both leaned forward till their foreheads were pressed delicately together. A silence past over both of them, still and thick like the trash on Plastic beach.

The didn't break vision, just stared at the other, 2D was gnawing on his lip and watching Murdoc's mouth, while the Satanist kept his eyes on the vocalist, recognizing the chewing of the lip. "I'm neva going to hur' you again." Murdoc whispered in a soothing voice, the alcohol no longer hung on his breath, and the smell of 2D's cigarettes long since faded away.

"I know Muds." The Keyboardist tried to inch forward, just to get one kiss from him, but Murdoc was faster and moved away, turned around and slinging his head in shame. "I's too soon D" he whimpered out as he bagan to walk from the bathroom. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. The lanky bluenette pulled him back, wrapping his arms around him in a strong hug.

"I' will come Muds." Was the whispered response.

- 2 weeks past since the incident, Murdoc hadn't had a single drop of alcohol, and it was killing him, what was even worse was that he hadn't touched his singer in anyway since the bedroom kiss. It wasn't on 2D suggestion, but his own. He couldn't handle it, but now with all the pain it was causing him, he just needed one little kiss. NO! He couldn't touch him yet, a simple kiss led to a passionate kiss, than to touching, than so on till it arranged to sex, which would cause memories.

2D perched himself on the kitchen counter, another counter was opposite to him, the sink hooked into the marble tops. Murdoc rounded the corner, rinsing out his glass and dropping it in the sink, not bothering to put it away. Just before he turned to leave, the singers long legs stretched out around his waist and pulled him in, while his hugs wrapped around Murdoc's neck and hugged him tightly. "'D," The satanic bassist groaned at the latest attempt to seduce him.

"Not now, yew know I can'." He was acting as if it was he who got raped, and in all honesty Murdoc had no clue how he could be forgiven so easily. "Come on Murdoc, i's been a while since yew had a wreal shag. I ain' the only one tha's horny." he whispered in a challenging tone as he lightly ran his lips along Murdoc's neck. He wanted to give in so bad, nail him right here in the kitchen.

"D, not now." He firmly pointed out, the bluenettes limbs fell back and a mild whimper erupted from behind. When Murdoc looked back, his head was bowed, blue bangs falling to cover his black holes. "Sometimes, I feel like you only said you loved me so I would forgive you." he confessed in a half whisper, springing anger from the deepest bits of the older mans heart.

He spun around and grabbed hold of 'D's arms, pushing him against the counter, knocking the wind from him as Murdoc got right in his face. "I love yew Stu, an' don' ever doubt fo' one second tha' I don'." He growled in a half pissed half turned on type of voice. The dent head below him felt the butterflies in his stomach, and again wrapping legs up and around, pulling the older man against him and grinding into him as hard as he could.

"Damn, Stu." He moaned at the sudden and intense pleasure being contributed to his lower half. He moved back, pulling out of the grip, with other plans in mind. "Please Murdoc?" the singer begged before he knew what was going to happen. The only response came from slipping his hands around the keyboardist, and lifting him up bridal style, the surprise in his little black dents was purely adorable, and Murdoc couldn't help leaning down and engulfing his lips in a passionate kiss.

He carried the singer to the lift, pressing the master Bedroom button with his foot seeing as how his hands were full. By the time the bell dinged on the floor containing Murdoc's bedroom, they were buried in each other, their lips colliding in passion and lust, lust that could only come from years of repressed love and months without an intimate moment.

He carried the singer to the bed, without breaking the kiss or opening his eyes. He tossed the singer on the bed, and grinned lustfully at the bluenette sprawled across his bed. He climbed on top the bed and loomed over 2D. His mismatched eyes grazing over the lanky body beneath him, they caught eyes again, and leaned forward in complete devotion to the other. Their tongues swirled, and lips dance across the moist glade of each other. Something about this kiss seemed more loving, more right, something just screamed, DON'T BREAK APART.

"I love yew 2D."

"I Love yew too Murdoc."

* * *

I really hate when I write Crappy endings, I'm sorry if you wasted your time on my shitty 2 shot, but thanks for reading anyway.


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